Rewind
by amythis
Summary: Angela finds herself traveling back in time and confronting Kathleen. Is it a dream or a chance to change the past year?
1. Kitchen

"I know you're after him. You're not going to get him. Tony and I are good together. And nobody, especially you, is going to get in the way. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Angela, believe me, I had no idea you two were involved. I wouldn't have done anything if I knew he was seeing anyone."

Angela blinked. She was not standing in Washington, D.C. She was sitting in Fairfield, Connecticut. In fact, she was sitting at her own kitchen table, and the blonde woman a decade her junior was not a sophisticated senator's aide with a mobile phone but a slightly bohemian waitress.

"Did he tell you about last night? Or did you just guess when he got home late?"

Was this a dream or had Angela somehow traveled back in time a year to the morning when everything changed? Even if it was just a dream, she had to say something, although back then she hadn't even known what had happened the night before, let alone all that she now knew of the year that would follow. But that year wasn't going to happen now, was it?

"I'm sorry, it's none of my business."

"It's OK," Angela said hesitantly. "No, Tony didn't say anything. But I had a sense of what happened. And, no, we don't have an official commitment. But I've realized now that that this can't go on like it has."

"So it's a wake-up call." Kathleen sounded understandably bitter.

Angela felt a spasm of pity for Kathleen. At the time, Angela was too hurt to have any sympathy for Kathleen. And anyway, Kathleen had "won." She got Tony in bed not just that first night but many times afterwards. In fact, there was a point when it seemed they might even get married, although Kathleen was definitely less direct than Frankie had been. But now, knowing that Kathleen would be another woman passing through Tony's life, admittedly one who lingered longer than most, Angela could feel a little sorry for her. After all, Kathleen hadn't set out to steal Tony from Angela.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Kathleen shook her head. "It's not your fault."

"In a way it is," Angela said. "I should have talked to him a long time ago."

"OK. Are you mad at me?"

"No, not at all. If it hadn't been you, it would've been someone else."

"That makes me feel just great."

"I'm sorry." She almost wanted to give Kathleen a hug, but they were almost strangers, especially that early on.

"I should go. Please make my excuses to the study group."

The study group. That's right, Angela had invited Tony's Art History group over to study, to make up for kicking them out the night before, while she entertained clients. This meant that the other girl and the two guys— Angela had forgotten their names after a year— would be here soon. And Tony. He would be returning. He'd be walking into the living room any moment.

"All right. Um, you should probably leave the back way. So you don't run into Tony."

"Oh, right." Angela wondered what was going through Kathleen's head. Kathleen probably had hoped this was going to be more than a one-night stand. After all, she'd looked at and spoken to Tony as if she was very fond of him, in that parallel morning of a year ago, or was it now? But this was better for her, really, in the long run, no matter how much it hurt right now. Then Kathleen stood up and gathered her books. She turned to go and then turned back to ask, "Why did you have to say it like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like an accusation. Like you thought I was some schemer. Like this was some sort of soap opera. That's not who I am. I like Tony and, yes, I slept with him, maybe before I should've, but I did want to get to know him. And it had nothing to do with you."

"I'm sorry. I, I thought you were someone else. I mean a different kind of person."

"Well, I guess we both need to become better judges of character." Kathleen went through the kitchen door and outside.

Angela wondered how long this dream, or whatever it was, would go on. Would the entire year be replayed, but with the difference that Kathleen wouldn't be a part of it? Angela didn't even have to have the talk with Tony. It was enough for the moment that Kathleen was gone. Tony would probably be surprised but relieved that he wouldn't have to "explore that option." He wouldn't feel any less guilty of course, but that wasn't Angela's fault.

What would happen the next time Tony and Kathleen met? Would she tell him about her talk with Angela? Would he be surprised to hear about Angela staking her claim? And how would he feel about that?

Well, there wasn't much time to speculate. Tony would be returning any moment. And the others, the two guys and the other girl, were on their way. Angela had to pull herself together and go greet Tony. Well, if the rest of the study group arrived when they did "one year ago," then Angela would have a few minutes to talk to Tony alone. She remembered that painful conversation in the kitchen, when she'd said maybe she was crazy, and then it turned out she wasn't. Now she wasn't so sure. This was crazy, whatever it was.

Should she pretend to know nothing, wait till Tony confessed? What if he didn't? Angela knew that her mother knew. Mother had admitted it to her later, when this was all over, weeks after Kathleen had left, not because Angela confronted her but because Tony had told Kathleen that school "and other things" were getting in the way of their relationship. When it didn't hurt as much. Mother had said, "Yes, Dear, I knew, as soon as I saw him that morning." She said it gently, as she sometimes could, the kind mother that was usually hidden under the insults and teasing.

But would it be a kindness to Tony to just let this go? To pretend it never happened? Or was it part of their journey for Tony to confess to his all-nighter? And how would Angela react? How should she react, knowing what she knew now?

Before she could decide on anything, Tony came into the kitchen and guiltily said, "Oh, hi."


	2. Vic Damone

"So wait a minute. What are we saying here? That we can't make this work? That it's over?"

"I'm sorry." Angela went out the door on the edge of tears.

Tony hesitated before following her. But when he stepped through the doorway, instead of finding himself in the corridor of a college in Iowa, he was in a very familiar foyer. And Angela was nowhere in sight.

Tony was sure he was dreaming. He felt a sense of relief. It was just a nightmare. Angela wasn't unhappy in Iowa. And now the dream, in the random way dreams had, had taken him back to Connecticut. He hoped he could find Angela and everything would be all right.

It was Jonathan who raced down the stairs. He said, "Hey, Tony, some guy from the motel called and said you left some slides of fat, naked women in your room."

Tony automatically said, "Those are not fat, naked women! Those are Rubenesque nudes!

"I don't care. I'll go pick'em up." As the fourteen-year-old boy eagerly went out the front door, Tony realized with shock that he was back in the morning after his all-nighter with Kathleen.

Tony looked down at himself. Yes, this was the same outfit that Sam had noticed he wore two days in a row. So he was still in a nightmare. Why, if it had to take him back two years, hadn't it gone an extra twenty-four or at least twelve hours, so that he could've prevented himself from betraying Angela?

But something was different here. What was it? Oh, right. Angela and Kathleen were supposed to be in the living room when Jonathan came down. Angela had fondly told him he was too nice a guy to object to her kicking his study group out and he said he wasn't that nice, thinking of how she didn't know what he'd done to her, to them, to Kathleen. And Kathleen had even more fondly said, "Yes, you are." And then Jonathan told him about the phone call.

So where were Angela and Kathleen? They'd entered from the kitchen, as if they'd been chatting over coffee. Were they still in there? And what about the rest of the study group, who presumably were on their way? He couldn't remember their names after two years, but it'd been another girl and two guys. He wondered if he still had a few minutes to deal with Kathleen and Angela. He really didn't want to talk to either of them, especially not before he'd fully processed his time travel. Yeah, it was a nightmare, but as long as he was in it, he'd have to deal with the consequences of his two-year-old mistake.

Maybe it was best to go in the kitchen, get this over with, if the two women weren't going to greet him. It would be awkward as hell, but at least now he knew what he hadn't two years ago. He'd then not known what to say when Angela asked if it was over, meaning with Kathleen, but maybe between him and Angela, too. It had to be over with Kathleen. It was a dead-end relationship that should never have started. And it was that he tried to draw out a one-night stand, that was what really hurt Angela, more than that he slept with someone else.

Of course, this being a dream, it might not be Angela and Kathleen in the kitchen. It might be Vic Damone and the Benedetti twins. Or he'd push the swing-door and find himself on Mars or something.

He pushed the swing-door and found himself in the kitchen he'd been missing for weeks, however nice his apartment in Iowa was. Angela was sitting there, in her outfit of two years ago rather than what she was wearing in Iowa. And she looked as confused as he felt. Was she going to talk to him about Kathleen, who'd maybe gushed about Tony over coffee? Or was she going to go back to talking about how miserable she was in Iowa and how she'd been making the sacrifice for him?

Whatever was on her mind, she didn't look happy. And that was Tony's fault, either way. He'd betrayed her, and he'd taken her away from her life on the East Coast. Unless, you know, this had something to do with Vic Damone and the Benedetti twins. Or Mars. Tony couldn't prepare for every contingency that might pop up in a dream. He said, "Oh, hi."

She looked up at him and said, "Um, I've invited your study group over."

OK, so it was still that time frame. But where was Kathleen? "Oh, everyone?"  
"Yes, but Kathleen couldn't make it."  
"Oh, I see." He sort of did. But why couldn't Kathleen make it? Had she told Angela about studying late alone with Tony and then doing something else late alone with Tony? He was sort of relieved that Kathleen might be napping, but worried about what had happened with that phone call.

"Yes," Angela said more briskly, "I wanted to make it up to you for kicking everyone out last night. I, I shouldn't have done that."

"Well, you know, sometimes people do things without thinking, without meaning to hurt anyone."

"Right," she said quietly.

How much did she know? And how did she feel about it? And what was Tony going to say to Kathleen later? All he knew was he couldn't let this go on with Kathleen. He'd tell her that last night was fun but there was someone else in his life, someone he didn't have an official commitment to but someone he wanted to be with. And he'd apologize and hope she'd take it as well as she did months later when he said that he saw Angela in his future somehow. Of course, he might wake up before the dream got to him facing Kathleen again, but he had to have a plan just in case.

Angela said, "When I spoke to Kathleen..." The doorbell rang just then. "That, that will be your study group. You better get it."

No, not now! Why did it have to ring just when he was going to find out what Angela and Kathleen said to each other? Maybe it would be nothing, but it'd be impossible to concentrate on Art History with this on his mind. Then he reminded himself that it was unlikely that the dream would last long enough to actually take the final exam, and even if it did, he sort of remembered the questions and answers from two years ago. Maybe that was sort of cheating, but it wasn't the kind of cheating that made him feel guilty.

"Yeah, OK." He went back to the living room and wondered who would actually be at the door. It could be Bobo the Clown or anyone. But it was the other girl and the two guys from his study group.


	3. Encanto

Angela tried to concentrate on the Encanto Records account, but she was just as distracted as she'd been a year ago, although for different reasons. She tried to remember what slogans and visuals had worked last time. She was more knowledgeable about music than she'd been, after the Wilson Phillips mess with Sam and Tony, not to mention Angela's experiences at the local jazz club.

She realized suddenly that, her relationship with Tony aside, she had a whole year's worth of knowledge. Yes, this must be a dream, but while she was in it, it was real. She had financial knowledge of the past year. She could make a killing in the stock market! Or she could bet on the World Series and the Super Bowl. OK, that probably wasn't ethical, but it was tempting. Not that she needed the money, but how could she pretend to not know what she knew? She decided that she would only use her knowledge for good, not to exploit any situation.

Which brought her back to Tony. A year after Tony's first night with Kathleen, Angela wasn't sure if she was ready to, as Mother said, "Show and tell and show again" how she felt about Tony. She'd known for almost four years that she was in love with him, ever since Frankie proposed to him. Even in this day that she found herself in, it had been almost three years. There were moments she'd thought about saying it, but she wanted him to say it first, and she still wasn't sure how he felt.

She'd told Dr. Bellows, "I know he cares. He cares a lot." That was still true. Even though he'd slept with Kathleen, he still cared about and for Angela. It wasn't like when he slept with Trish Baldwin and the others early on. He knew that after what he and Angela had gone through, especially in Jamaica, this was going to hurt her. He'd said, here in this study, "I don't want you to feel badly about anything."

She wasn't sure if it was time to tell Tony she loved him. But maybe it was time to tell him what she'd said to Kathleen. Or would it sound too possessive, too over the line? Maybe, despite his guilt and uncertainty, he wouldn't appreciate her breaking up his relationship with Kathleen. After all, he didn't know the future. She'd have to proceed cautiously, in a different way than the first time they had this conversation.

She knew he would walk through that door any minute. Things were happening enough like they did the last time. Or would he instead call Kathleen and find out why she wasn't at the study session today? Angela had to be prepared for that, too. The truth was, she didn't know the entire future, because changing one element might have a butterfly effect. Maybe even the Gulf War would be affected! Or the recession. She really should call her broker tomorrow, if this dream went on that long.

Someone knocked at the door. She flinched, but it might not even be Tony. It could be Mother or one of the kids. She realized suddenly, the kids didn't know yet! She wasn't sure when or how or what they found out about Tony and Kathleen, but as last summer went on, it was clear that they knew that this wasn't like Tony's past relationships. Angela had always suspected that that was part of the reason that Sam took a summer job as far away as New Mexico. She now wondered if Sam wouldn't go away after all, which would mean that the foolish engagement to Matt would never happen. Tony would be happy about that but, no, of course he couldn't know what Angela had prevented. He'd never know what the year could've been like.

She shook herself. This was just a dream, right? "Come in."

Tony hesitantly entered and said, "Hi. Um, we have to talk."

"Sure. You, you're finished studying?"

"I couldn't concentrate on my book."

"Me either. I mean on the Encanto account."

"Right. The Encanto account. Uh, how's that going?"

"Good so far. Is that what you wanted to talk about?"

He shook his head. "It's, um, about me and Kathleen."  
"Yes?" she said faintly.

"I, um, I've been under a lot of pressure and I did something impulsive and, and now it's over."

It was close to what she'd said to him in the kitchen in the parallel conversation where she said maybe she was being silly. She had hoped, a year ago, that he would confirm it, that that was why it had happened and that it was over, but he hadn't. And now he was saying this, unprompted. She felt relieved, but she realized that that couldn't be the reaction she'd show right now.

"You, you spent the night with Kathleen? I mean, not just studying."

He swallowed and nodded. "Yeah. I, I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "You don't owe me an apology, Tony."

"I feel like I do. I know we didn't have any kind of commitment, but we made promises for the future, and I ignored that last night."

"Does Kathleen know it was just one night?"

He shook his head. "I need to talk to her."

Angela suddenly feared Kathleen telling their kitchen conversation. Oh, why had Angela started like this? Why hadn't she gone first and told Tony about claiming him? Or if she wasn't ready for that, she could've said that Kathleen had told her what happened last night. What a mess this was! She blurted out, "She knows!"

"She knows what?"

"I, I mean, she must know. I think that's why she didn't show up today. She told me that things were awkward between you. I, I assumed she meant that you two had had an argument. I mean, I know you and the rest of the study group call her Little Miss I Have a Better Idea." Angela had heard them complaining about Kathleen earlier in the semester.

"Oh, well, yeah. And there is that side to her. But last night we really clicked, connected. Not just, um, in bed. But talking about art and travel and dreams."

"Oh," Angela said quietly.

"But it's nothing like I have with y— had with Marie. It was just enough for me to forget that I thought she was too pushy."

"Oh."

"Anyway, I like her more now, but I just don't see the relationship going anywhere. And maybe she doesn't either, if she said that to you."

"Maybe not." Angela felt guilty for lying, but this was a very tricky situation, more than it had been last year.

"Well, anyway, I should get back to studying. And let you get back to the Encanto account."  
"Right. Good luck tomorrow." She wondered if the dream would keep going into tomorrow. If so, then Tony would not only have to take his Art History exam while very distracted, but he'd have to face Kathleen. Of course, that was also true last time.

As if reading her mind, Tony said, "Thanks, I'll need it."

Then the doorbell rang. It would be Peter. He'd invite her out for coffee but this time she would have to say no. Not only was her head more muddled than last time, but she didn't want to lead him on. They would not date, he would not get too serious a couple months down the road. She had to nip this in the bud.

"Excuse me, that'll be Peter. And John."

"Oh, right. The Encanto guys."

"Yes."

"Um, are you going to go to the studio to listen to tapes?"

"No, I'm kind of tired. I think I'll turn in early. I was up late last night."

He nodded and blushed a little. "Yeah." She knew he was thinking _Me, too,_ but he didn't say it.


	4. Final

Tony did his best to concentrate on the Art History final, although he couldn't believe that this dream, or whatever it was, was still going on. When he woke up that morning, he expected it to be in his bedroom in Iowa. Hopefully, Angela would be lying beside him, her natural scent tantalizing his nostrils. If he had woken alone, he'd have called her, tried to reconcile. Maybe she could move to Des Moines or Dubuque and set up a branch of her agency there. Or he could explain the situation to Dr. Graham, get a reference, and apply for colleges in the Northeast. He might not be able to live with Angela again right away, but they could work towards that, live close enough to visit without all the hassle of airports.

Instead, he woke up in his old bedroom in Angela's house. And she was sleeping in her not yet remodeled bedroom. Tony thought of his argument with Hank's father over the remodeling and how Tony had tried to do it himself, with "help" from Jonathan and Hank. Wow, Sam wasn't married to Hank! She wasn't even engaged to Matt yet. Tony could prevent both of those relationships which Sam was too young for. At the moment, Sam was not yet 18, and she hadn't had a long-term boyfriend since Jesse. Knowing what Tony knew, he could put his foot down about Sam going to New Mexico, and if Hank still came along later, then Tony could do what he could to stop them eloping. Maybe she'd be better off with Pierce, the stock broker. Hey, Tony had stock knowledge he didn't have two years ago! Should he drop hints to Angela? Nah, that probably was cheating a lot more than knowing what the questions were on this final exam.

And anyway, it was fair in a way, to sort of remember this exam from two years ago, because he was more distracted than he'd been last time. Back then, he felt just as guilty towards both Angela and Kathleen but at least he didn't know what would happen if he stayed with Kathleen. Now he felt like scum to have slept with Kathleen and not wanted to pursue a relationship with her. But maybe she didn't want one, maybe that was where the "awkwardness" she'd told Angela had come from. Except, that wasn't how she acted two years ago, in the living room in front of Angela. Or was it crazy to expect the dream to go exactly the way real life did, when there were some obvious exceptions?

After the exam, one of the guys from his study group said out in the hallway, "It's finally over! Let's go get drunk!"

"Oh, Kyle," said the other girl, the heavy one with glasses.

"What do you want to do, Kathleen?" asked the other guy. He had an obvious crush on her.

"Actually, Dave, I'm a little tired. I think I'll head home."

"Oh, OK." Dave definitely looked disappointed.

"How about you, Tony?" the heavy girl asked. "You wanna get coffee with us or something?"

"Gee, thanks, Guys, but I'm kind of tired, too."

"Oh, I see." The girl looked from Tony to Kathleen. Tony hoped she wasn't figuring out that Tony and Kathleen had been up late the other night doing something other than studying. She had seemed surprised that Kathleen wasn't there at yesterday's study session but mostly relieved that Kathleen wouldn't be a know-it-all like usual.

"Come on, Debbie, let's at least go to the cafeteria."

"Yeah, OK, Kyle. You comin', Dave?"

Dave looked at Kathleen, but whether he was as suspicious as Debbie now or if he hoped Kathleen would change her mind, Tony didn't know. "Yeah, OK," he said, and the three younger members of the study group headed down the hallway.

Unfortunately, this left Tony alone with Kathleen, but he decided he may as well get this over with. "Uh, listen," he said.

She shook her head. "Angela explained to me."

"Explained?"

"Yes, how you two aren't 'involved' but she wishes you were."

"She does?" Tony felt shocked. It wasn't in the same way as it was about a year ago, when he'd asked the family, and Mrs. Rossini, "Who knew she felt this way?" It turned out then that they all did. Even Sam's spacy date Fred had had a hunch. Looking back, of course Angela must've wished that in the time of his all-nighter with Kathleen, although that all-nighter had obviously screwed up that wish, and delayed them eventually getting together.

What was shocking Tony now was that Angela had told Kathleen that. After all, she hardly knew Kathleen. And why would Angela just blurt out something like that to a stranger? Unless she knew about the one-night stand, and she sure hadn't acted that way with Tony in the kitchen and her study. And the Angela in the parallel universe, which Tony had been assuming was reality, had not confronted Kathleen, had instead tearfully told Tony that maybe his relationship with Kathleen was part of their journey.

"I guess you two haven't talked about it yet."

"Um, no, we haven't." How could Angela lie like that? Why would she be direct with Kathleen but not with Tony?

"Maybe she was waiting for your finals to be over," Kathleen said with a little smile.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Well, good luck to you two. And I told her I wasn't trying to steal you or anything. I didn't even know about her feelings, since you didn't act like she felt that way about you."

"I, I didn't know. I mean I suspected but we never said anything like that."

"I see. And do you return her feelings? Never mind, it's not any of my business."

"No, no, it's OK. I, I do feel that way about her, but I've always been scared to say anything and lose what we have."

"And sleeping with me wasn't going to make you lose her?"

Her words were like a slap but he knew he deserved them. "Listen, I'm really sorry about the other night. I got swept up in the moment. I mean, I guess I wanted it to happen." He remembered Mona's words when she found out. "But I didn't think about the consequences."

She nodded. "It was fun. But I guess that was all it was to you."

He felt incredibly guilty, but he knew that that same guilt had made him get involved with Kathleen for months, and he couldn't let that happen again. "No, I could see us dating. If not for Angela. But it wouldn't be fair to you, or her, to do that."

"OK," she said faintly. "Well, thanks for not leading me on more."

Tony winced. This was very awkward. But better to have this conversation than have her father want Tony to sire grandkids someday. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I'll see you around. Have a good summer."

"Yeah, thanks, you, too."

And now Tony stood alone in the hallway, until another class got out. Then he headed home, wondering what he would say to Angela.


	5. Forever

Angela worked from home again, the day of Tony's Art History exam, as she had the day before. She just didn't trust herself to go through the motions at the agency, to not have her employees notice she was distracted. At home, well, she supposed Mother blamed it on Tony's all-nighter, since Mother must've figured out that Angela found out, although she couldn't have guessed how. And the kids may've thought she was stressing about the Encanto account.

She had put off Peter, telling him that she wanted to brainstorm some ideas on her own at home and then show him and John when the latter got back from LA. She knew she couldn't stall them forever, but this dream couldn't go on forever, could it?

She hoped Tony would do well on the exam, although he must've been very distracted. Well, he'd be even more distracted, if in a happier way, if she'd told him her feelings yesterday. But she had to today, whether or not Kathleen had said anything to him.

So when he knocked on her study door, she immediately said, "Come in."  
"Hey."

"Hey. Um, how did the exam go?"

"OK, I guess. Um, Angela, can we talk?"

"Of course." She gestured for him to sit but he kept standing and in fact leaned over her desk.

"Angela, is it true that you talked to Kathleen about me?"

Angela blushed. "Yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but it's awkward."

"Yeah, I know. But I think I have a right to know what you said to her."

She nodded, although she blushed more than ever. She'd have to soften it a bit, so he wouldn't think she was crazy for talking to Kathleen like that. "I said that I couldn't let her have you because you and I are good together."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."  
"No, no, you're right. We are good together. And I was stupid to try for something else."

"Do you mean it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I know it won't be easy. I'm still not 100% comfortable with the idea of dating my boss, especially when you make so much more money than I do, and there'll be times that I'll wish I could buy you nice things and I can't."

"Oh, Tony, that doesn't matter to me. I, I just want your love."

"Oh, Angela!"

He leaned forward even more, to kiss her. She closed her eyes and melted into the kiss. But when she opened her eyes, she found herself standing next to Tony, in a dressing room. She realized he was wearing the suit he'd put on for a television interview on the Medicare issue. Was she back in that time? What happened after she confronted Christine? Was Christine still out in the hallway or had she stormed off?

Tony was also wearing a stunned expression. "What was that about?"

Angela thought of Mother's advice. "I told you how I felt." She wondered what she'd said, if Tony looked so surprised. "And now I showed you."

"Oh, I, I, I get it. It's like that, it's like that game, Show & Tell. Well, that's good, you know, good. 'Cause, uh, I like that game." He laughed nervously.

Despite her own nerves, she seductively said, "Me, too. Maybe we should play it more often." Then she went out to the hallway, hoping she wouldn't see Christine.

...

One moment Tony was kissing Angela in her study and then he was back in that time of a year later, a year ago, where Christine had admitted she was using him and then Angela came in a couple minutes later and kissed him out of nowhere. He better understand the kiss than he had at the time, but he was obviously disoriented by the time travel. The dream played out like reality had, but he knew more than he had then. So after Angela told him maybe they should play Show & Tell more often, instead of just standing there like an idiot, this time he followed her out to the hallway. He hoped Christine was long gone.

But when he got through the doorway, he saw the hallway outside his office at Wells Junior College in Branford, Iowa. And Angela was heading towards the exit to outside. In his best Brooklyn bellow, he called, "Yo, Angela!"

When she turned, she was smiling through her tears. "Yes, Tony?"

"Um, let's try a do-over."

She ran towards him.

THE END


End file.
